The Ipuana tribe has long believed in powers. they believe women in their tribe are gifted with powers such as healing, dreams, and feeling. my grandmother is the chief of this tribe. when my mother was pregnant with me my grandmother told her i would be gifted. sadly i was never told this till about two years ago. my mother told me that when i was younger i could feel pain some else was suffering and at times i could even tell her who the person was.

my father is a very hard working construction worker who has almost his whole life been forced to work miles away from us. my mother said that i could always sense minor pains of his even though he was so far away. sometimes i ran up to her saying that my father's thumb hurt or something of that sort. she would always call to check on him and my prediction would usually be correct.

lately i've had several dreams of things that might happen. many of which came true. because of this my mother would always ask me about my dreams or if i felt anything.

for some time now i've felt as if something was...growing inside me. i didn't think much of it and ignored the feeling. but today it was just to much. i had to stay home because of this pain. i explained the pain to my mother:

i was a bit delirious i suppose...
i felt like i was suppose to be paralyzed or something
my lower back and hips ached
and the pain in my stomach felt strange
the thing was still their...growing
but something else was there too
i kept feeling a strange spike.
i kept crying not because of the pain but i wasn't sure why

though my mother seemed a bit worried she told me to go to school and if the pain worsened i could call her to pick me up. my entire body was shivering. i held back my tears. but i just couldn't take it. i called my mother and she said she would come. i waited and waited then finally she came. i was given a yellow slip saying i was going to leave. when i came to the office i saw my mother weeping her eyes out.

when we got home i lay down on a couch in the living room. i still felt goosebumps throughout my body. i tried to fall asleep but just couldn't. i was half asleep when i began to feel like i was in the hospital or something. i felt a needle seep into my inner elbow and some sort of claps lightly pinch my index finger.

the pain in my stomach grew and i yelped in pain. my mother rushed over an i told her that i felt as if i was in a hospital or something. tears filled her eyes as she explained to me that a relative was having an abortion today. i began shaking as tears poured from my eyes. i managed to ask her who but she refused to tell me.

after a bit she and my grandmother left to the store. i laid there still in shock. even as i right this it hasn't quite registered in my mind. i finally grew to tired to think about it and i fell asleep. when i woke up i felt incredibly depressed. though i gained back some energy i felt weak and....empty.